What I think...and why
(as if anyone cares)
I.M.H.O. (In My Haughty Opinion)

Will BHO be More Like JFK or FDR?

The most frequent comparison made for Senator Obama as he sprints toward the Democratic Presidential Nomination is to the idolized, much lamented, and dully sainted John F. Kennedy. The similarity between the two are, superficially, striking. JFK was young, charismatic, relatively inexperienced and an excellent speaker. The same adjectives are easily applied to Senator Obama. Both were (are) Democrats and, therefore, by definition, were (are) liberals. Both were nominated by their parties in a stunning contradiction of long-standing taboos in American politics: Kennedy, as the first Roman Catholic President, Obama as the first black Presidential nominee. Kennedy had and Obama has an attractive, articulate spouse and lovely children. Both candidates ran as successors to two-term Republican Presidents who had their nation involved in unpopular wars (Eisenhower: Vietnam, George W. Bush: Afghanistan, Iraq) which tagged the opposition Republican Party candidate (Nixon, McCain), by association, persona non grata with the electorate. Both men were (are) youthful - Kennedy, 42, Obama, 46 - and their campaigns both project(ed) an image of "change" and energy to a nation that felt change was needed. Both candidates had the advantage of a national consciousness that felt threatened and under siege (Kennedy, "The Cold War", Obama, the "War on Terrorism"). To complete the comparisons to the level of absurdity, both are graduates of the Harvard University system.<< MORE >>

At The Zoo - Part Two

At any given visit to the menagerie, the particular subspecies of Homo booboisie may vary but a representative sampling will undoubtedly be present. My particular favorite is what I have named as the "impressionist". Before we continue, let me assure you that, unlike the traditional use of this word, my usage does not refer to the school of artists that includes Monet, Renoir and others. While my favorite humanoid is an "artist" (in a fashion), they have nothing to do with putting brush to canvas and their best work is not on display in any museum. Regardless of the confusion involved in using this word for my subspecies, it is just too descriptive to pass up. << MORE >>

At The Zoo - Part One

In another one of those grand ironies that recall the immortal and unforgettable words of C+C Music Factory, to wit: "Things That Make You Go, Hmmm", I marked the passage of George Carlin from this Earthly Plain with a keen sense of loss. I had just spent the entree segment of a dinner discussion discussing his brand of humor (I like to call it "observational comedy") with a friend the weekend just preceding Carlin’s death. Everyone agreed that his comedic genius (shared by Bill Cosby and few others) was funny for the simple reason that he observed commonplace human behavior and, with a twist and a turn and a sprinkling of logic (which never should be applied to human behavior without the expectation of a belly laugh) made them seem so irredeemably idiotic, ludicrous and silly. As I recall, my most original contribution to the conversation was that Carlin was a prime example of why I didn’t drink alcohol, much less do drugs. << MORE >>

Guilty Pleasures

Laila Ali likes "Flavor of Love" (Egads!), Jason Priestly (who, by all accounts, has plenty of time for guilty pleasures these days) has a "man crush" (whatever that is) on Joel McHale (whomever that is) and Denis Leary (whose own show is one of my guilty pleasures) watches "The Real Housewives of New York" with his wife. We all have them and most of us are, if not actually ashamed we enjoy them, at least a bit secretive about them. They are the great curse of human civilization; the one preeminent reason why our civilization is not striding confidently forward but, in truth, is lurching, stumble-by-stumble, decidedly backward. They are the "guilty pleasures" of our staid, regimented, goose-stepping, stand-in-line-to-buy-what-everyone-else-is-buying lives. They are one of the ways, meager as it is, to declare - if to no one other than ourselves - that we are unique and 100% human. The fact that the activity might be detrimental to our humanity, our sanity or our coronary arteries is entirely irrelevant. They are, thus, purely hedonistic drives - dangerous, self-destructive but necessary to some - no different from riding 4-wheelers up really steep hills, bungee jumping off 400 foot bridges in Zambia, funneling at a frat party, dating girls half your age or voting for a Democrat. << MORE >>

Long Live The N.B.O.A.!!

"After food, the most important activity, at least for men, is sex. Sex is not going away." Geoffrey Arnold, Nevada Brothel Owners Association Let the above quote sink in for just a few moments. When I read the story from which it is extracted, I was struck by many things. I was astounded with the genius of the State of Nevada for legalizing something (prostitution) that is going to be done illegally and less safely in every other state and every other country on the planet, the marketing expertise and savvy of the brothel owners and their innovative dealings with the gas crunch and, well, to tell the truth, I was just blown away by the fact that brothels have lobbyists. Damn, what a great job that would be on a resume! I can see it now: << MORE >>

Maybe It's Because I Just Can't Stand The Guy?

I don’t know how to explain it. I really don’t. My harsher critics (and you know who you are) will attribute it to my inbred, well-entrenched Southern terror of the sound of a strong black man’s voice. Some, with kinder hearts, will just write this diatribe off as a reactionary attack by a conservative on liberal ideology. Maybe, it’s more animalistic, like waving a red cape in front of a bull. Then still, perhaps the devil made me do it. I don’t know nor do I really care. Whatever you care to call it, after reading the June 30th issue of Newsweek magazine, the little switch in me that mysteriously slides to the "ON" position and causes me to spew off one or two thousand words of sheer vitriolic hyperbole has gone and done it again. My readers have probably happily noted that it has occurred less frequently of late and my submissions here have been of a decidedly "kinder and gentler" nature. This, sadly, will not continue that trend. For that, and for any (other than the subject of the rant) who might be offended by what follows, I sincerely apologize.<< MORE >>

When Is Enough Actually Enough?

I am no fan of Don Imus. In point of fact, I have never heard one minute of the man’s radio show and, really, don’t even care to undertake the exercise. When he was vilified for racists comments in 2007, I could not have cared less that he was fired by his employer and was chastised by the press for insensitivity to racial issues. Other than for the ladies college basketball team he slandered (Rutgers), I had absolutely no sympathy for any of the parties involved in the entire unsavory episode. But, personally, I have had enough with the omnipresent guillotine that the recognized racial police seem to think they wield over the heads of anyone in the public eye. If we are to have "freedom of speech" in this nation, it should be universal, uncensored and color-blind. And, gentle readers, we do not have that in America today. "Whitey", in American society, is clearly on the run. << MORE >>

The Promising Season

These are just two of my working hypotheses. There are many other possibilities, equally sound, that would make outsourcing the bloated Washington bureaucracy cost effective and, yes, possibly even profit-making. But for this to work, we need to get the cold, stiff hands of the career federal jobholders off the damned checkbook. If we are to have a subsidized administration with a department, division, bureau or office for every social ill, shortcoming or grievance, at least allow it to be run in the hands of a private concern. It is the only possible way to prevent more efficiently governed nations (say, China, Kuwait or Qatar) from buying the U.S., lock, stock and Yellowstone. Though, if one thinks about it for any length of time, a change in management might just be overdue and not entirely unwelcomed. << MORE >>

The Autobiography: Ego Trip or Psychotherapy?

A year or so back, frequently kept awake, not to say alarmed, by the shuffling footsteps of the Grim Reaper just outside my bedroom door (not knocking just yet, but halfway through his last cigarette, certainly), I set out, perhaps as a naked bribe to Whomever Is In Control, to put down the sad sordid details of my 58 years on God’s green earth. Maybe, I harbored a secret hope that, if I came clean about all the evil I had unleashed on the earth and her minions, the Deity would see fit to give me - not a reprieve, mind you, for I ask not of that - but what the Vikings wished, "a good death". If not slaying a dragon or saving a Princess from her tower (for these are not as popular these days), then saving a baby from a burning house or, failing that, instant and complete cardiac arrest after a lusty bout of carnal congress. That, surely, would be a really good death.<< MORE >>

Victimology 101

"Victimology" , that grand bit of insidious liberal balderdash and creeping hokum that has slithered, like kudzu vines across our nation, choking the spirit and self-esteem of all it touches, is a subject, it seems to me, worth exploring. Worth exploring because, in my opinion, "being a victim" is a psychology that preys on one of Homo neanderthalis’ greatest weaknesses. To wit, the unquenchable desire of the species to believe in something, which is not to say anything, when all evidence is against it. Evidence the widespread belief in the Tooth Fairy and unicorns among children and steroid-free sporting competitions, a tolerant Islam, Arab-Israeli peace treaties, honest politicians and equality among the adults. In the face of overwhelming evidence flying into the teeth of some of our most jealously-guarded and fiercely-defended fantasies, the Americanos still hold a death grip on many of their mass delusions. And "victimology" (which I define as the ill that may befall you when you are at the wrong place at the wrong time) - as a concept, a social dictum and an excuse - is one of the most recent illusions to infect the national consciousness.<< MORE >>