I have been aware that there were physical differences between males and females since, well, as early as my eyes could focus and my senses could record input early in infancy, I knew that the female was softer, smelled better, wasn’t nearly as hairy, had some extremely interesting bulges and curves and, generally, was much more likely to provide comfort, soothing words and, more importantly to an infant, sustenance.

The female of the species, as I grew older, continued to be much more interesting to me than the males. The adolescent boys I interacted with (in sports, roughhousing, and idle chit chat) were, to me, rather boring and much like animated G.I. Joes: to wit, kinda dull and interested in stale discussions such as "Who is the best centerfielder: Mickey Mantle, Willie Mays or Duke Snider?" or "Why don’t we just bomb Russia and get this Cold War crap over with?" or "Can’t we just shoot down that Sputnik thing?". Those of the Converse tennis shoe, knot-kneed, blue jean and t-shirt persuasion didn’t seem to be able to hold a single, original thought for very long before they would either change gears abruptly and go off on yet another tangent (e.g. jumping from baseball to the best grip for holding a lit Roman candle to the latest small animal they were successful in torturing). Or, they would simply run off (in classic ADD, a "disease" unheard of in my time) fashion to start climbing a nearby tree or throwing rocks at a passing dog. In those pre-teen years, boys were much like movies: entertaining for a while but, after more than a couple hours, downright tiresome, predictable, tedious and boring.

The prepubescent girls, on the other hand, were always - always - more fascinating and intriguing. All the tantalizing physical differences noted in infancy (and which became even more seductive in a few short years to come) remained but there was something much more attractive about the female, beyond visual appeal. They seemed more calm, more interested in what I was talking about (in my clumsy, adolescent way) and their unending patience would allow me to stutter and stammer on for as long as I wanted. Unlike my contemporary caveboys, who would interrupt loudly and challenge the accuracy of every sentence only to, 5 seconds later, switch gears entirely to something they wanted to talk about, the girls of my youth really and truly listened. The girls also maintained eye contact - a marvelous maneuver that assuages insecurity - and would stare into my eyes, expressively responding to what I was saying (whether they understood it was another matter entirely and, fortunately, it was never questioned from either side). The female was better company even before the surges of hormones that would make us both, male and female, adversaries on the great battlefield cum playground of sexual machinations from the teenage years and beyond.

It is only in the last few years that I have, once again, begun to take note of just how wonderful the unique female gifts (no, not those female gifts!) truly are. Despite the pseudoscience-based proclamations of the feminists from the later 20^th Century, scientists now know there are distinct differences in the female brain that separate it from the cerebrum of their hairier, knuckle-dragging counterpart. In brief, the male and female brains are not interchangeable.

For the first 75 years of the 20^th Century, any suggestion that there were basic, innate differences between the two sexes was heresy, utterances no less vile than the witchcraft of Salem, Massachusetts and equally deserving of punishment by the activists. To suggest, even offhandedly, that nature (genetics) superceded nurture (societal indoctrination) was summarily dismissed as cultural bias, the rants of a male chauvinist pig or, simply, a sin against nature and, possibly, The Creator. At the height of the "women’s liberation" movement, it was declared that there were absolutely no differences between man and woman (beyond the anatomical, I assume) and, if a study were to say there were, the differences could (and must) be dismissed as being entirely due to imposed socialization by parents, siblings and peers. In other words, they were acquired rather than hard-wired.

In the spirit of political correctness, most took up their positions on these noble (if scientifically shaky) ramparts and vowed to never surrender their ground even under pain of death. The followers of Gloria Steinem, Bella Abzug, Shirley Chisholm and the other "libbers" marched in the streets, burned their bras and declared at the top of the lungs that anything men can do, women can do better or, at the very least, just as well. While stocks in Playtex rocketed and a great deal of lip service was given to passing an Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution, scientists continued their research and, as luck would have it, the worm slowly began to turn.

Since about 1980, science began to actually document that - Eureka! - what everyone knew from their own personal experiences (but dare not speak in mixed company) was actually true! To wit, men and women have distinctly different mental apparatuses and process information in singularly distinguishable ways. And, despite the continued howling from the liberatti (who tried vainly to defend the position that the sexes - as well as races - differ only in the ways that society and opportunities force them to be), testing has shown (irrefutably, in my opinion) that not only are we all different but we are born with these differences locked into place.

To list a few of these gender distinctions, consider these as representative but not inclusive:

• Men, on average, are better at mentally rotating objects and maps; women are better at remembering landmarks and the position of objects
• Men are better throwers; women are more dexterous.
• Men are better at solving mathematical word problems; women are superior at mathematical calculations.
• Women are more sensitive to sounds and smells, have better depth perception, match shapes faster and are much better at reading facial expressions and body language. Women are also better spellers, retrieve words more fluently and have a better memory for verbal material. ^(1,2,3)

Anyone who has regular contact with a member of the opposite sex knows, almost implicitly, that these (and many other) differences are real. Men may not (literally) be from Mars, nor women from Venus but they certainly do have wonderful, interestingly-complimentary mental skills. I, for one, cry out: Vive la difference! The Creator knew what he was doing when He wired that unimpressive but wondrous 3 pound, wrinkled lump of matter that floats between our ears.

Certainly, the unique ways men and women handle and react to situations can cause problems. For instance, women are more verbal than men who, conversely, are more comfortable when in action. One of the classic conflicts in the "Battle of the Sexes" occurs when women present a problem to their significant knuckle dragger. Women solve their problems by verbally "examining" them: they want to describe the problem, express how the problem makes them feel, what they want to do about the problem, what the downside is of doing what they want to do about the problem, et cetera. They want their hairy, smelly mate to listen, not jump in and say something like: "Honey, just go into work a little earlier each day and you will have time to do all that extra work your supervisor has piled on you. After all, a paycheck is a paycheck, dumpling. No big deal, honey darlin’!" That, my fellow troglodytes, is how arguments, discord and nights on the sofa take flight.

If men and women would be a bit more aware of the differences that exist, both would start to see the beauty built into the system. In truth, women and men have unique capabilities and skills that augment and enhance the other’s. But, unfortunately, ego (in men) and sensitivities (in women) clog up the stream and wash away many a happy nest.

Men are "doers". That is, they are more likely to take risks, charge ahead (often half-cocked, pardon the pun) and, generally, are less patient than the feminine sex. Women are thinkers, analyzers and, occasionally, plotters. When men have conflicts with a coworker, they resolve it (over a beer, a challenge to arm wrestling or, often enough, out in the parking lot) and move on. Women, I have been told, concoct elaborate plans for revenge. I recently learned this from the prototypical alpha female who has worked for over 15 years among 100 or so teachers at a high school. She assured me that women, given the proper incentive, can put the childish, schoolyard bullying of men to shame when it comes to conflicts between co-workers. Old William (Congreve, not Shakespeare) had it right: "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned / Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned." Or, the modern corollary, women don’t get mad; they get even.

I, for one, love women and the extraordinary talents and heightened sensibilities they bring to a relationship. Painfully, I recall when I was a "youth" (18-40 y.o.), I was more often infuriated, bedraggled, befuddled and puzzled by the fairer sex to the point of incurring an actual decline in my health and a reduction of the prospects for a long life. Needless to say, it was a hefty price to pay for simple ignorance. But, with age, comes not just the wisdom that we are all handmade and one-of-a-kind but a deep, passionate appreciation of the splendor that is the mind of the woman.

Women and men are, despite all the hokum of the National Women’s Political Caucus, very, very different creatures. Each has abilities that can, when used in tandem with the opposite sex, make life, work and (most certainly) play more enjoyable, productive and creative. Once you recognize and accept that truth and get past the conventional adversarial relationship, the bloody combat of the typical male-female interface is transformed into a partnership that can cause each person to grow and continuously learn.

And that, gentle reader, is when the real fun in life begins.

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(1) Blum, D. 1997. Sex on the Brain: The Biological differences between men and women. New York: Viking

(2) Kimura, D. 1999. Sex and Cognition. Cambridge, Mass,: MIT Press

(3) Halpern, D. 2000. Sex Differences in Cognitive Abilities (3^rd ed.). Mahwah, N.J.:Erlbaum